Who in their right mind would like to kill themselves? That is right no one. There could be various reasons behind it. The common meeting point of which is total loss of self-worth. Maybe life is harming you more than death, but no one has seen death. It is of course a more beautiful beginning but if we can’t deal with problems in this life, what is the guarantee that we will in next? Remember, the law of Karma ‘if you leave things undone, it will be manifested again and again.’ But no one wants to die because they don’t want to live, they want to die because they can’t deal with the immense pain. Whether it is psychological, physical or both. The only medicine for repeated suicidal thoughts is repetitive will to live. You need a high dosage of it and I will help you figure it out yourself.
At least we agree on this that people who want to take their life do so because of pain, feeling-of-no-worth and see-no-point in living anymore. Reason’s could be anything, from failure in love to failure in life but they are formed due to absence of understanding of future.
When things go out of hands every tomorrow looks like a burden. Another day or reason to be sad and depressed and isolated. Your mind becomes your own enemy and your will to live begins to weaken. But the underlying reason behind coming to it is because you actually never give yourself a worth. In fact suicidal thoughts means that there is a part of you which is adhering you down that part of course is ego. Looking for help online or asking friend’s or family (friends and & family might become a reason for this too) means that there is a part of you which understands the importance of living.
Where did it all go wrong? Was that because you were cheated or hurt in a relationship? Friendship or debacle in business or work? NO!
You see people will do wrong as they please. It is because you can’t expect everyone to understand your feelings. Most of them have trouble understanding their own feelings. This will make you feel stuck and in turn will push you to do what you want to do. What you feel now is not anyone’s problem really. No matter how close they were/are to you. It will only bring them down and yourself too. Stop expecting anything from yourself or anybody for now. It is time for you to reflect and bring a new fresh life into your being. When things go wrong and trust me they will, most of us loose our center. The ground beneath our feet is suddenly taken and we are free-falling into the pit of our dark-imaginations.
Repeated Suicidal thoughts wants you to find your purpose
It’s true that everyone is born twice. Once into life and another when they find out their purpose. Everything that happens in the beginning is just a push. When you were born you were clear. With immense curiosity and love for yourself. It is destroyed by Society, Religion, Politics because if you keep on going loving yourself. You are dangerous to current society. This is why your love for yourself was distracted from you. If you do not earn, follow a party, be religious, be patriotic, marry, party, work or in a relationship. You will not feel that you are worth anything.
Robbed by self-containment and self love now you cannot love anybody else. Everyone is out for love but no one has any to give. This is the reason behind continuous fight between lovers, family, workplace etc.
Is the purpose of life being in a relationship, being rich or being perfect? It is much more than that, in fact it is incomprehensible. Your purpose is to journey through all goods and bad and still be able to give more than possible. You can see the logic, either being in a relationship or love becomes your sole objective of living. Or it is towards a religious, political, business idol, TV-movie idols.
Telling your thoughts who is the boss
A close friend of mine had trouble with family. Since his childhood he was told that he was not of any worth. Even when he excel academically he was constantly drowned in failure for not being good enough. Each morning he would wake up and be told that he is not good enough for anything. In the beginning as a child he never thought it would affect. But as he aged he became shy,isolated, easily loose confidence and tried suicide several times.
He told me that no matter what he did, whether it is an interview for new job. Whether it is a relationship or business presentation, he use to loose it because. Somehow constant nagging in his childhood made his subconscious mind accept it as a fact that he was not good enough. When he was able to identify the problem he now began to move in the direction of healing. It was a whole new chapter in learning to love himself.
It is unnatural that you have been taught to love everything outside of yourself. It is unnatural that you were put in a situation and hurt so bad that something inside you flips the switch. It is unnatural that you want to die, and if you are able to take a completely unnatural thought and entertain in your mind. You can definitely do magic with loving yourself which is pure natural and is in your DNA.
Live to give more, now that you have nothing
“To love means loving the unlovable.
To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable.
Faith means believing in unbelievable.
Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless”
When the ground beneath you have already been shook in your childhood please tell me why it is not natural for you to be feeling what you are feeling. Whatever it is however bad and negative, it is not bringing you down. In fact nothing has that capability to do that to you. Unless, long ago the love which you had for yourself was taken away. Your purpose from now on should be to be able to retain that love and over shower even those who hurt and put you in this situation with your affection.
Give yourself some time, do not put expectations on you and others. If feeling of betrayal and anger sweeps you, confront it. You are not even the person you always thought you were. You are a person who can endure everything and still shine like the sun. Giving light to those who need. It is never too late to turn your life around, being in such a situation blocks us from seeing solutions. Which are always there no matter what stuck along the problem.
Live a completely different life, full of risks.
Take your time and focus on art or something abstract. Meditation works wonderful but the problem is that a person in such a rut will not be able to meditate in the first place. Keep yourself moving, do not be in one place more than 45 minutes. Start saying ‘Yes’ to most of the questions of going out and seeing a new thing. Take an hour in your day reading, exercising or doing Yoga. Yoga helps a lot because it helps our mind learn the balance between thought and the body.
Medicine will only harm you in longer term, better to enjoy some favorite spot and make promises to yourself which you will fulfill no matter what. You will see that time plays the most important role in this, don’t expect to just suddenly be transformed. The feeling of hopelessness can be turned to hope during tough times. If life is channeled properly
Most importantly, embrace your pain as a gift. To this most of you will have to figure yourself out of my friend whom I discussed above. Learned to be more in touch with his fear by embracing his pain and got over it in six months. Now he is a changed man, even better man. How to embrace your pain? By accepting the worst and the bad thing which have happened to you as something which happens to most of the people in the world.
Footnotes: If more problem use contact form and I will see if I can find someone in your area to help you.