Human body is a machine which works in the limitations of it’s biological parts. When we are born, we are born with curiosity! With an ability to play and enjoy in mud just as much as loving any gadgets, car, house, money in later phase. Programming plays a very important role in this phase, like computers our mind is also programmed; Language, Culture, Psychology, Behavior, Emotions, Expressions, Ego, Education, Understanding, Awareness, Conscience are all induced with this program. This is one of the reason also which makes a person unique individual. The way a person is programmed he leads his life in the same personal zone which subconsciously controls a person by putting an illusion of being in an imaginary safe-zone or comfort-zone. When this comfort zone is broken, the person becomes confused or lost.
Mind is a powerful tool, it can destroy mountains and can build bridges. To tap into this source of mind is like opening a tunnel towards infinite possibilities. The way it’s brought up is not in the way it should be and over-programming leads a person to be ruled by his/her most powerful slave, same situation happen with no-programming at all. While talking about mind we should note that it is different from brain. Brain is body part full of fat and neurons while mind is the part of the intellect, a direct way of letting soul into this dimension freely.
What you are reading now is how your mind is programmed to read this. By tapping into the mind, soul and heart we will reach the full potential of our being human or human being. This is what we are going to talk about in this article, for turning kids into this aware person more in control of their life and situations.
Exercise Strong Emotions. When competing in the world, there are a lot of shortcomings which one faces. We progress not by beating any competition but by overcoming our own shortcomings. Therefore they should be programmed to win through actions and not by arguments. We can do this by guiding them about emotions as a tool to act, positively with patience instead of losing control over wits or react. They should be motivated to show the correctness of their idea by demonstration of proofs instead of resorting to other ways. Patience is must without patience living becomes uncontrolled and full of unwanted circumstances which could otherwise be avoided. This can be done by giving responsibilities in very young age about minor things which might otherwise look important but fulfills the empty space of “actions” and “emotions”. It cannot be done overnight so lot of patience is required both by parents and kids. If the kids refuse or is unable to fulfill the desired output than put it as a challenge to them or some rewards. You will hear a lot about rewards and motivation in this article. Completing a task often brings more confidence in a kid and helps also in higher self esteem which we will speak later.
Keeping dependent. They should be programmed for an habit of keeping people dependent on them for something. Creative responsibility is a must for every person in this world of change. They should have an intent that by keeping people dependent on them they are in more center of power and thus they can effectively learn to manage social manners and popularity wherever they go. By doing something unique or keeping control of something which only they can do comes with this practice. They should be motivated enough so that they can motivate people around them, with this they can never feel absence of self motivation, as it will bring in infinite confidence in self.
Practice responsiveness. Imagine how a baby feels like in the care takers hands. The child’s emotional response is unable to detach him from his/her parents. Thus the child feels abandoned and unlovable. It is difficult to always be there for them, of course we all have important things to do but let the child always know that you are there for them. The confidence attached with the baby with this comes pays off well specially with high need babies.Because of the responsive nurturing the baby knows what to expect, on the other hand disconnected child is confused. We should emphasize on the early nurturing of the child because the first two years babies brain is growing very fast. Infant who get used to the attached parenting strive to keep this feeling in them. Because they are now so much of in practice of feeling good that they can regain this feeling during any temporary interruptions.
Polish your mirror. No one can put a happy face all the time, but parent’s unhappiness is quickly transferred to a child who looks at you as a mirror for his/her own feelings. If you are worried then you can’t reflect good feelings. In the early years child’s concept of self feeling is so deeply attached with their mother/father that sort of mutual self worth-building is going on. Even infants know that they are supposed to please their parent’s, as they grow they might even come to feel responsible for their parent’s happiness. If you are not content they will not feel good.
Assert Leadership. Parents fail to teach authority to the kids due to their fear.It is normal for parents to love their children and their children to do the same in response. Therefore it is important for the children to express, with the fear of dire consequences children when guided to express in only some safe choices makes them feel anxious. Children should be motivated in expressing themselves and should be appreciated in return for their gestures, this motivates the kids to react positively to their parents and thus haphazard moments does not arrive. Some parents who are trying too hard to teach their kids about How they should feel, how they should express or how they should do a particular thing, that we take the power away from them. They start to feel their parents are responsible for them rather then they themselves. Children are best served with by seeing their important role model adults to lead in a balanced ways that are both powerful and respectful.
Model Positive choice making. Little eyes are watching and little ears are listening. When it comes to being a role model, you must be aware that the choices you make don’t only impact you but also the children who regard you as their superhero. Someday, they will be in the same predicament and think to themselves, “What did s/he do when s/he was in the same situation?” When you are a role model it’s not enough to tell your charges the best choices to make. You must put them into action yourself.
Admit mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. When you make a bad choice, let those who are watching and learning from you know that you made a mistake and how you plan to correct it. This will help them to understand that (a) everyone makes mistakes; (b) it’s not the end of the world; (c) you can make it right; and (d) you should take responsibility for it as soon as possible. By apologizing, admitting your mistake, and repairing the damage, you will be demonstrating an important yet often overlooked part of being a role model.
Keep promises. We all want children to stick with their commitments and follow through with their promises. However, as adults, we get busy, distracted, and sometimes, a bit lazy. To be a good role model, we must demonstrate stick-to-itiveness and self discipline. That means; (a) be on time; (b) finish what you started; (c) don’t quit; (d) keep your word; and (e) don’t back off when things get challenging. When role models follow through with their goals, it teaches children that it can be done and helps them adopt an “if s/he can do it, so can I” attitude.
Practice respect. You may be driven, successful, and smart but whether you choose to show respect or not speaks volumes about the type of attitude it takes to make it in life. We always tell children to “treat others the way we want to be treated” and yet, may not subscribe to that axiom ourselves. Do you step on others to get ahead? Do you take your spouse, friends, or colleagues for granted? Do you show gratitude or attitude when others help you? In this case, it’s often the little things you do that make the biggest difference in how children perceive how to succeed in business and relationships.
Teach Multitasking. While we don’t want to spread ourselves too thin, it’s important to show children that we can be more than just one thing. Great role models aren’t just “parents” or “teachers.” They’re people who show curiosities and have varied interests. They’re great learners and challenge themselves to get out of their comfort zones. You may be a father who’s also a student of the martial arts, a great chef, a good sportsman, and a treasured friend. You may be a mother who’s a gifted dancer, a solid rock climber, a celebrated singer, and a curious photographer. When children see that their role models can be many things, they will learn that they don’t need to pigeon-hole themselves in order to be successful.
Demonstrate Strong Will. Every parent knows the feeling: Your child has just drawn on the wall or refused to get dressed or mouthed off to you for the millionth time. And you’re absolutely at your wit’s end. For some children, these moments of defiance are just that?moments. But for strong-willed children, these “moments” are a way of life. And they can zap the resolve of even the most patient parent. You spend the early years building your child’s self-confidence. You spend the later years protecting it. Many thin-skinned children need protection from situations they find overwhelming.
Be clear. Even if children might be unhappy in the moment, they will feel more secure in the long run if they understand what is expected of them. Within the security of having clear boundaries and agreements, children can then be encouraged to develop their own leadership skills in specific situations where they can be successful. You can’t be up and smiling all the time and still be human. Your child should know that parents have down days, too. Children can see through fake cheerfulness. Your sensitivity toward him will increase his sensitivity toward you, and someday he may be the one lifting your self- confidence.
Play with them. You will learn a lot about your child—and yourself—during play. Playtime gives your child the message “You are worth my time. You are a valuable person.” It is well known that children learn through play. It improves a child’s behavior by giving him feelings of importance and accomplishment. Instead of viewing playtime as a chore, use it to make an investment in your child’s behavior. A valuable learning principle that parents should keep in mind is this: an activity initiated by the child holds the child’s attention longer than one suggested by the adult playmate. More learning takes place when the child chooses what to do. Child-initiated play also increases self-worth. Consider playtime one of your best investments. You may feel that you are “wasting time” stacking blocks when you could be “doing something” instead. Some adults panic at the thought and really have to struggle to be able to let go of their grown-up agenda. Of course, you don’t have to play all day long, nor will your child want you to (unless he senses your resistance!). What may seem like a meaningless activity to you, means a lot to your baby. The more interest you show in doing things with your baby early on, the more interest your child will have in doing things with you when he’s older.
Teach Success. Helping your child develop talents and acquire skills is part of discipline. If you recognize an ability in your child that he doesn’t, encourage him. Strike a balance between pushing and protecting. Both are necessary. If you don’t encourage your child to try, his skills don’t improve, and you’ve lost a valuable confidence builder. If you don’t protect your child from unrealistic expectations, his sense of competence is threatened. Children measure their own value by how they perceive others value them. And in our measuring-and-testing society, children’s skills—and therefore their value—are measured relative to others.
Turn the child into a street-smart rather than a Home-Wise. The roots of a young child’s self-concept come from home and nurturing caregivers. After six years of age, peer influence becomes increasingly important. The deeper the roots of home-grown self-confidence, the better equipped kids are to interact with peers in a way that builds up self-worth rather than tearing it down. They know how to handle peers who are fun to play with and those that give them problems. In normal development a child moves out from the known into the unknown. He/She tries out new experiences in much the same way that an attached infant learns to separate from mother. It is quite normal for a child to retreat periodically into the comfort of the known (her home and family) as He/she progressively ventures into the jungle of the unknown. It is important for the child to have a strong attachment base. Being shy does not mean that a child has a poor self-image. She/He needs an extra dose of confidence so that she can follow her own inner timetable in adjusting to new situations and relationships. Parents often wonder what degree of clinging to homebase is normal. Look at the problem over the course of an entire year. If you see no change in the child’s willingness to venture out, that may be unhealthy. But if you see some gradual moving out, then your child is simply a cautious social developer, which is characteristic of sensitive children, who may form a few meaningful and deep relationships, rather than numerous superficial ones.
Teach not to be stepped over. Teach your child to over-react to the threat of a bully and to follow these guidelines: If some kid calls your child a bad word, he or she should look the bully right in the eye and angrily command “Stop It!” Immediately after, your child should go to the principal. Yard monitors for the most part won’t be of much help. Your child needs to go right to the top. If on a subsequent occasion the bully physically touches your child in any manner, your child should very forcefully slap the bullies hand off, and with eye contact and a pointed finger– command loudly “Don’t EVER touch me again!”. Teach your son or daughter to have a defiant attitude toward bullies. He or she should become very angry when a bully attempts physical contact. Your child should then go straight to the principal’s office to complain, and call you at work or home. Once again, this should be made a very big deal.It has to be so painful for the school when a bully tries to hurt your child that everyone at the school goes out of their way to prevent it from happening. If you under-react nothing will be done. Schools are run as a bureaucracy and for anything to get done, you first have to get noticed. You and your child need to cause a major ruckus every time there is a problem with a bully.If it happens again that the bully physically touches or harms your child, instruct your child to snap kick the bully in the groin full power, and then to stand over the bully and say “You were warned, next time I won’t be so nice!!” Then again, right to the principal’s office.Your child might get suspended for the day. But, it will change two people’s lives forever and will be well worth it. Your son or daughter will be changed because he or she will have learned to fight back, and with the confidence gained from the experience, your child will most likely never be targeted again as a bully’s victim. Your child would also have done the bully a big favor. The bully would have learned that it’s not a good idea to go up to people and pick on them. If the bully hadn’t learned this lesson with your child, he might have continued to bully people for many years. As an adult, the bully might go up and harass an armed person who may not be as forgiving as your child was.
Parents may misunderstand the meaning of self-esteem and feel that this is just one more thing they are required to give their child along with regular meals and a warm winter jacket. They guard against anything that may undercut self-esteem – to the point where it becomes ridiculous. Every infant whose needs are met has self-esteem built in. Like an arborist caring for a tree, your job is to nurture what’s there, do what you can to structure your child’s environment so that she grows strong and straight, and avoid whittling away at the tender branches. You can’t build your child’s self- esteem compliment by compliment, activity by activity. Parents are already overloaded with guilt because they may not be doing enough to foster their child’s self-worth. You don’t need a degree in psychology to raise a confident child. Much of parenting is easy and fun. Hold your baby a lot, respond sensitively to her needs, enjoy your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the person whose self-esteem is developing naturally.